It is that time of the year again – the time when many of us feel compelled to get our life in order by making a fresh start in the New Year. We attempt to accomplish this by making ‘New Year Resolutions’, a set of things that we are going to do everyday to get our lives back on track.

By the middle of January, however, the majority of us have not kept our resolutions and are feeling a bit hopeless about it. We are not alone in this defeat, however. Studies show that a significant percentage of people do not manage to keep their resolutions beyond the second week of January and in six months, this figure has fallen to under 50%. Studies also show that we make the same resolution about 10 times in our lives. So if losing weight or becoming better at time management is on your list this year, there is a good chance that it is not the first time you have made this resolution.

Does this mean that we give up the hope for change and resign ourselves to loving ourselves just the way we are? Or is there a better way?

Personal success coaches and people who are most successful in many aspects of their lives do it differently. They follow sound practices that support them in meeting their objectives. Instead of making resolutions, they set SMART goals with a clear action plan that encourage them in making meaningful and lasting changes in their lives.

It is relatively easy to set SMART goals when we are working towards achieving something concrete such as getting a job, applying to university, writing a book or starting a business. It is more challenging to set SMART goals when we are working at personal growth or spirituality. In the example below, I have purposely picked a more abstract example to show how it can be done.

Here are several practices for making goals that can support us in making changes:

1) Write them down

The act of writing itself appears to have a powerful impact on the likelihood that we will accomplish our goals, so it makes sense to write them down and to keep them visible.

2) Make them SMART

Specific: What are you trying to accomplish exactly? Will you know when you have accomplished your goal?

For example, if I want to work on patience this year, “I will be more patient” is not a specific goal. “I will keep my voice low even when I am feeling rushed” is much more specific (and it is stated positively which is a powerful way to set goals).

Measurable: Can you measure the result? This is much easier if you are setting a goal that will have a physical result such as losing a certain amount of weight or getting a certain job. However, we can also learn to measure success in practicing personal virtues.

To continue the above example, I can begin to count how many times I do raise my voice and measure how it goes down as I begin to become mindful of the tone and pitch of my voice.

Actionable: This means that the goal requires us to do something, to take action.

In the above example, if I say, “Be more patient”, it is not clear what action I need to take. However, if I write “Practice speaking in a soft voice”, it is a clear action that I can take and practice.

Realistic: When we are enthusiastic and inspired to make change, we sometimes become unrealistic in what we can achieve. While it is important to stretch ourselves and move beyond our comfort zone, it is also essential that we are realistic about what we are currently capable of.

For example, if we have a challenge waking up for fajr salaat, it may be unrealistic to vow to start praying tahajjud every night from now on.

Although there are many ways to make changes, the easiest and most sustainable one is to make small but significant changes on an ongoing basis. Since these changes are sustainable, there is a greater chance that they will ‘stick’.

In the anger example, if I raise my voice several times a day at present, it may be unrealistic to expect that I will never do so again. It may be more sustainable to pick certain situations that cause me to lose my temper and work at those to start with until I get better at being mindful of my tone of voice and pitch.

Time-bound: If we do not set a deadline to achieve or work at something, there will always be the temptation of putting it off for ‘someday’. Setting a deadline pushes us by creating a sense of urgency and encourages action. Once again, it is easy to set deadlines for physical things such as getting a job or moving house.

Setting a deadline for personal growth issues is slightly more challenging but it can be done. When you are working on a process (becoming more patient or less busy for example), the deadline could involve setting aside time to review your progress, do self-reflection or practice a role-play, for example. In this way, our good intentions at growing personal strengths can be made more tangible and we can chart our progress to monitor how we are doing.

3) Share goals:

There is mixed evidence about whether or not sharing goals supports us in achieving them. According to some experts, sharing goals keeps us accountable and can help us achieve them due to peer pressure.

Others argue that by talking about our goals, it gives us a false sense of having achieved something and keeps us from working hard at them. Therefore, it is a good idea to share your goals very selectively, with one or more people who you believe will support you and keep you accountable, rather than making a general announcement about what you are working on.

4) Review your goals:

Very often when we set goals or resolutions in an inspired moment, we forget about them once the inspiration has passed and what is left is the hard work required to achieve the goal. For this reason, it is crucial to keep our goals in plain sight and to review them regularly, preferably at a set time each week to see how we are progressing, what is working and what needs to be done differently.

This year inshallah, by following some sound practices in setting goals, we can achieve meaningful personal growth and success.

Wishing you and yours a blessed, successful and peaceful year.

With warm salaams and duas
Marzia